Please save yourself the Drama & ..
if you can’t handle it, don’t get married , period .
Hopeless romanticism is sweet, and makes for great films and novels and novelas and whatever else you choose to engross yourself with in your spare time. The only problem with that is that if you don’t think you can tough it out, don’t do it . Don’t put yourself in a situation where your going to lie to yourself, to another person or your future children, or in the presence of God .
Keep your money completely separate or completely together. Make sure you both know whats going in and whats going out, whats owed and whats due. Expect that your both going to go through tough times, and don’t keep a record of misgivings or mistakes. The point of the whole arrangement is that you want to become one with another person. That means your money, or lack thereof is theirs too . Your debt? its their cross to bear as well.
Relationships last longer when you don’t involve your best friend, mom, sister, aunt and niece. Sharing your feelings and your worries and your anger with other people is a normal human habit, but then the relationship isn’t between you and your spouse anymore. Family and friends are great , but they also make great instigators, pushers and deceivers. The grass always looks greener on the other side, remember that. As envious as you are, there will always be people who look at your relationship and feel the same envy, if not greater since true love and lasting marriage is rare.
Fighting is healthily and normal and safe, as long as it doesn’t become physical or abusive in any other form. You’ll be with this person for the rest of your life, so remember that whatever you say to them they’ll probably remember the rest of their life - and to that extent, people tend to remember the foul over the fatally beautiful. So yes, fight and be upset but don’t curse or say things you’ll regret because they will come back to haunt you, and they won’t be easy to forget. To that extent if you make such a mistake, apologize. It may mean nothing to your other at the time but the fact that you can admit your mistake shows that you care, so long as you mean your apology and don’t use it to end an argument.
Have sex, lots of it. Be happy and play tag around the house twenty years later. Laugh at each others faults, and make time for each other. Don’t believe you can do better, you married the best for you ; case closed. Don’t forget to prove and show your love, flowers and dates never get old, same with random sex or compliments.
Never say ” i don’t love you anymore “, ” i don’t trust you “, ” you mean nothing to me “.
those words cut deep .
Yes, this is narrow minded and brash and quite silly at points, yes I’m young and unaware of most martial problems. But i believe in love, and i believe in God. I believe that he’ll watch over you and if he brings you together, has no intention of splitting you apart. I believe in everlasting love, marrying your best friend, having children and settling down into a life that will never , ever be easy, but will always be worthwhile.
You just have to trust in three things : yourself, your spouse, and God .
Marriage is forever, so don’t do it with other intentions.
You know the type of intimacy that makes your chest heavy ? That makes you smile while they sleep and count their eyelashes , or freckles , or something so minuscule because you want to remember every inch of their body . You know the type of sex where you beat the shit out of each other and laugh and smile the whole time ? Where you wake up with bruises and scratches and love every story each bruise tells. The same kind that makes you feel unembarrassed and uninhibited to do whatever makes you happy and feel better , stronger , more alive . When you know your something special to someone else , that’s almost the best .
Because at the end , when your tired and messy and sweating - the moment that means the most happens quite a while afterwards, the moment after you’ve said your good nights , after you’ve satisfied your wants , and you turn you back to sleep . Only to feel him curl his arms around you and hold your hand , put him face in your neck and breathe in your scent . That type of intimacy , that’s the meaning - that’s why I can’t shake you .
